spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
