Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
