got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just gargled with NyQuil
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
