I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
they need to just BURY HIM!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she pinky promised me she was 18
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
