He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
