So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
