I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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