Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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