Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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