How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
