i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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