Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
