those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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