"it" just moved
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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