I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
