yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
