Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
