I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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