hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
