No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
