Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
