she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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