ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
