Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
