You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
