He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
