I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize