im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
