The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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