This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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