Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Less talking, more tequila
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
