Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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