hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
