Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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