You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
