Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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