Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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