Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
