Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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