You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
