can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
