i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
do nipples grow back?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
