I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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