1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
