White coat. Heels.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
