Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
