No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
