Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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