Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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