i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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