I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
