dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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