We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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