i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
