carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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