kristin has been a bad kristin
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
