I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
