trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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